problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
this will be a night to untag.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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