no. you can't hotbox the world.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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