I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
