Can i not drive my cunt home
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
