Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
