So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
