I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
