i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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