using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
