I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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