Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
