I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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