He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
