I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
