I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
