I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
The air taste purple.
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