when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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