these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
