Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
