3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She told me I should be a condom model.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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