She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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