I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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