Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
