the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize