I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
