If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
