shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so that wasnt chicken after all
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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