His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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