I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
