i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
