You made me cry and you don't even care
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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