dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
