And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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