Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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