I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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