he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
