But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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