sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
