marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
