Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
