Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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