who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
