I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize