you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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