what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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