Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
