I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
