She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
