I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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