so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
