Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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