There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
