shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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