dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
apparently the secret to your success is patron
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
