my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
