How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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