:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
