i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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