spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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