Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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