Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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