The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize