everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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