East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
