friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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