i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
