He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
