Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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