It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
