I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
