Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
