Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
