My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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