Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i think i just lost a toe
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I woke up under a house in Key West
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
